Navigating the Challenges as a New Muslim Revert in a Non-Muslim Household
Embracing Islam is a profound and personal journey, filled with spiritual growth and challenges, especially for those living in non-Muslim households. Recently, I received a heartfelt message on my shop, Grounded Revival, from a new Muslim revert who is grappling with fear and apprehension about practicing his new faith in a household of a different religion. His message read:
"I am a very new revert, I am just learning how to strengthen my faith, but I am scared to pray because I am afraid of my strict household shaming me for believing in Allah."
This touched me deeply, as it brought back memories of my own family's journey with faith. My mother reverted to Islam after marrying my father. Her decision wasn't well received by her family, and growing up as a child of a revert posed its own set of challenges. However, I don’t regret my place in this world and InshaAllah, I hope to provide some guidance to others in similar situations.
A Guide for New Muslim Reverts
Reverting to Islam is a significant and personal decision, and it's understandable to feel apprehensive about revealing this change to your family, especially if they have a strong attachment to a different religion. Here are some pieces of advice that might help you navigate this situation:
- Take Your Time
- No Rush to Inform: There's no rush to inform your family about your conversion if you don't feel ready. Take the time you need to become comfortable with your new faith and practices.
- Learn and Practice Discreetly
- Private Prayers: You can pray in a private space where you feel safe and undisturbed. If you're worried about being interrupted, try praying at times when you know you'll have privacy. The great thing about Islamic prayer times is that you have a good stretch of time to complete the prayers, and they don’t take too long.
- Quiet Reflection: If performing the physical aspects of prayer is challenging, you can start with quiet reflection and learning the prayers. You can also perform shortened or less conspicuous prayers if necessary. Allah knows best and is all-forgiving.
- Prepare Yourself
- Understanding Both Faiths: Educate yourself about both Islam and the religion of your upbringing. This will help you understand the similarities and differences and prepare you for any questions or discussions that may arise. As you were brought up in a different religion, you can try to come up with appropriate responses ahead of time to what you believe will be the most asked questions or points of contention with your family.
- Prepare for the Conversation
- Plan Your Approach: Think about how you might explain your conversion to your family. Emphasize the positive aspects and what it means to you personally.
- Seek Support: Consider speaking with a trusted friend, community member, or religious advisor for guidance and support.
- Find a Supportive Community
- Local Mosque or Online Groups: Connect with a local mosque or online Muslim communities. Having a support network can be very helpful during this transition.
- There are lots of reverts online: IG and TikTok have lots of reverts that share their struggle and story. Listening to their process can be helpful.
- Respect and Compassion
- Understanding Reactions: Understand that your family's reaction may be based on concern or a lack of understanding. Approach the conversation with patience and compassion.
- Maintain Respect: Respect their beliefs and hope that they will respect yours. Building mutual respect can help maintain family harmony.
- Seek Guidance from Allah
- Dua and Patience: Pray for guidance and patience. Ask Allah for strength and wisdom in handling this situation. He wouldn’t have put this path in front of you if you were not meant to go through it, and He does not burden you more than you can bear.
Remember, every family's dynamic is different, so tailor these suggestions to what you feel will work best for your situation. It's essential to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being throughout this process.
Understanding the Term 'Revert
Many might wonder why new Muslims are often called 'reverts' rather than 'converts.' The term 'revert' is rooted in the belief that every person is born in a state of fitrah, an innate inclination towards monotheism and Islam. Therefore, accepting Islam is seen as returning to this natural state of being. This concept emphasizes the idea that reverting to Islam is a return to one's original, pure nature.
My Journey as a Daughter of a Revert
Growing up as a daughter of a revert, I experienced unique challenges and blessings. My mother's decision to embrace Islam was met with resistance and skepticism from her family. This often led to feelings of not being fully accepted by either side of my family. While the issues were more pronounced with the parents, my cousins and I eventually found common ground as we grew older. Acceptance and understanding evolved over time.
Initially, I felt caught between two worlds. My mother's family didn't fully accept her choice, and this sometimes extended to me as well. I wasn't always treated the same as other family members, and there were moments of isolation and misunderstanding. However, these challenges taught me valuable lessons in patience, respect, and understanding.
Overcoming these difficulties required a lot of resilience and faith. Here are some ways that helped me navigate this journey:
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Open Communication: Talking openly with my family about my experiences and feelings helped bridge the gap of misunderstanding. Over time, they saw the positive impact Islam had on our lives.
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Finding Common Ground: Focusing on shared values and common interests helped build stronger relationships with family members. This included celebrating each other's milestones and respecting each other's beliefs.
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Seeking Support: Having a supportive community, both within the Muslim and non-Muslim circles, provided me with the strength and encouragement I needed.
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Patience and Perseverance: Understanding that acceptance and understanding take time was crucial. I learned to be patient and to keep faith in Allah's plan.
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Strengthening My Faith: The challenges I faced only strengthened my resolve and deepened my deen. I found solace in prayer and in the supportive words of fellow Muslims.
This long journey of navigating my identity and faith not only strengthened my resolve but also inspired me to create handcrafted Muslim prayer beads that support the journey of Islamic faith. Through Grounded Revival, I aim to provide resources and products that help new reverts and Muslims strengthen their faith and find comfort in their spiritual journey.
To all new reverts, know that your journey is unique and deeply personal. Embrace it with patience, respect, and understanding. While the path may be challenging, remember that you are not alone. Many have walked this path before you (including our beloved prophet Muhammed saw) and have found peace and fulfillment in their new faith. Seek support, stay connected with Allah, and trust that He will guide you through every step of this journey. May Allah make it easy for you and grant you strength and patience. Ameen.
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